spiraling down

For a while I didn’t follow a path.
Just the flow of daily life.

Raising a child,
being a family,
a big journey of life in itself.

Fully involved on the volunteer front.
Learning a lot of soft people skills.
A bit of graphic design sometimes around.
A few quite cool projects too.
Yet, it didn’t light my fire as before.

I started a blog.
It became a haven.
Some first attempts on writing.
Connecting an ongoing story.
Besides a few people
hardly anyone understood
at that time what It was about.
I had a hunch.
Couldn’t tell on it though.
I learned on blogs.
Had a dip in the bloggers scene.
Stored the learnings.
Not acting on all of it.

I started learning
on business,
on marketing,
on branding.
I knew I could do more
then done before.
No clue however
how to get back in the game.

I got a first business coach.
It helped, a bit.
I got a more life kind of coach.
Another step moving forwards.

Despite help.
Despite pushing.
Despite belief that was around.
I couldn’t find my way out.

I stopped the blog.
Why continue?

In hindsight not a clear pinpoint
where it spiralled down.
For a long, long time
I didn’t really listen to me.
Nor did I talked it out deep enough.

Daily life it was.
Lots of attention needed there.
Family first.
A different kind of busy had taken over.
Dreams burried.
The workfire dimmed to a low point.

It could have continued
forever like this.

It didn’t.